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Latest Post
- And then I heard…the CRASH!
I’ve just released a new piano song called Waving Through a Window from the Tony Award-winning musical Dear Evan Hansen. You can listen here!
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqovCD0dugo
But what I really want to talk about today isn’t just the song, but the story behind my finally finishing it. You can read the story below or watch the podcast at this link, where my son Bo and I talk more about it.
I’ve tried recording this song off and on for eight years. I first heard it nine years ago when a friend told me she had been singing it all day around her house. I looked it up and fell in love with the song immediately. It captured the longing in my heart at that time, and a longing so many of us often feel:
Is anybody out there? Does anybody care? Does anybody see me?
The answer, of course, is YES! People ARE out there and they see you. And even most importantly, God is out there, and He sees you. And that’s really what this story is about.
The Tree That Fell
I’ve had trouble recording the song for a couple of reasons. One, it’s really hard! (Thank you to DPSM for your incredible arrangement!) But two, it’s really hard to capture the song because there is so much going on in it. It’s complex, rhythmic, and note-heavy. That makes it difficult to isolate the sounds without muddying up the whole recording.
I’ve tried various ways of recording it, but each time I hit a wall. Either I’m not playing it precisely enough or my normal recording process just doesn’t work for this type of song. I’ve never been able to get a version I was happy about, even for my own listening pleasure, let alone sharing it with others. Not until now!
A few months ago, I pulled out the song again and setup my recording equipment, deciding to take one last go at it. Either I would get it right, or I wouldn’t get it and give it up for good. This was my “last attempt.” One way or another, I’d be done.
I tuned my grand piano using a special tuning to optimize it for the key of the song (yes, that’s possible… I used Johann Kirnberger’s tuning method number “III” from 1779. :) It’s time-consuming, but I was willing to try anything to make it sound better.
I tried recording a few pages of the 12-page song, but still wasn’t getting it. I took a break to go to a retreat center in Indiana, where I was able to walk in the woods and get away for a few days.
While walking on a trail the first evening, I was listening to a chapter of an upcoming book my friend Al Lowry is writing about when God spoke to him thirty years ago when he was really wondering if God was really “out there.” Al had moved to Southern California and started to get involved in a little startup church called Saddleback. Al describes the event like this:
I drove down Golden Lantern toward Dana Point for a work project. The weather was gloomy and overcast, with low gray clouds hanging above the streets and hills. I remember staring through the windshield thinking it looked certain to rain.
As I drove through one neighborhood I began noticing the street names: Jeremiah. Leah. David. Nathan. Then Josiah.
That last one especially caught my attention because I remembered once asking Pastor Rick about the young king Josiah from the Bible. For reasons I still cannot fully explain, curiosity pulled me off the main road.
I wandered slowly through the neighborhood streets almost aimlessly, feeling oddly as though I had drifted into some quiet biblical landscape hidden inside suburban Orange County. The names themselves seemed to stir something in me I could not quite explain.
Eventually I pulled into a small neighborhood park: Dana Crest Park. I shut off the engine and sat there alone looking straight ahead through the windshield at the little park in front of me.
Rick Warren had encouraged us to pray honestly, so for perhaps the first time in my life, I really tried.
“Lord, if you’re real, give me a sign.”
The moment the words left my mouth, I immediately felt I had overstepped. Not embarrassment exactly, but something deeper. Almost as though I had challenged something far larger than myself in a way my cautious nature would never normally allow. I remember thinking: Who was I to demand proof from God when I was not even sure I knew Him yet?
It was a step of faith too large for me to expect any reasonable answer.
Then the clouds broke.
At that exact moment sunlight suddenly pushed through for the first time that day, bright enough that it startled me sitting there alone in the truck.
Now perhaps another man sitting beside me that morning would have thought nothing of it. Maybe he would have seen only ordinary weather shifting above coastal Southern California. Perhaps by lunchtime he would have forgotten those rays entirely.
But I never forgot them.
Like the blind man in Scripture who simply said, “I was blind, and now I see,” I still cannot fully explain that morning myself.
I only know I have returned to that same spot again and again ever since. Sometimes only for a few minutes while working nearby. Sometimes simply to sit quietly and think, remembering a moment that somehow cracked through my carefully guarded skepticism just enough to leave a mark.
As I finished listening to Al’s story, I thought, Wouldn’t it be great if God could speak to me like that out here in the forest. But how would He do it?
The moment I thought that, I heard a CRACK in the distance off to my right, and then I heard…the CRASH!
A tree had fallen. I’ve never heard anything like it! There was no storm, no wind, no storm, just clear skies above.
I couldn’t see where it had fallen, but the sound was unmistakable. I thought briefly about trying to find it, but the woods were too thick, so I continued my walk on the trail, marveling at what had just happened.
As I rounded a bend, I came onto a grassy meadow and followed it around to my right. And there it was! The massive tree that had fallen, ninety feet long, lying on the ground at the edge of the forest. The grass underneath the tree had just been mowed, so I knew the tree must have been the one I just heard. As I looked at it, something clicked.
The Song Suddenly Made Sense
I suddenly remembered the words to the song I was working so hard to record. The main character who sang it was wondering if anyone ever noticed him. He sings, “When you’re falling in a forest and there’s nobody around, do you ever really crash, or even make a sound?”
Then he makes it personal and sings, “Did I even make a sound? It’s like I never made a sound. Will I ever make a sound?”
I felt like God was speaking right to me. I thought, God, YOU saw that tree fall! YOU heard it! And I heard it! Even if we’re the only ones who heard it, we KNOW it made a sound!
And then God made it personal for me: “Eric, I hear you. I see you recording that song. And I see you standing in this forest right now.“
God heard the song I was working on so hard, and knowing THAT was enough. When I got back to my cabin, I pulled out my computer to try a few more things to edit those first few pages I had recorded, and finally I got it! It was “just right.”
When I went back home from my retreat, I started recording the song again from scratch, using the new tuning, the new settings on my computer, and recording one hand at a time to keep the mix from getting too muddy. I felt like I was cheating by taking so much time with each line to get it right. But this wasn’t a shortcut. This was a loooooong time coming to finally record and publish a version that I really liked.
And if God and I are the only two who ever hear it, I’m happy with that! If others like it, too… that’s a bonus. Hallelujah! I like it! And that makes me really happy. I have to imagine it puts a smile on God’s face, too.
Al’s story prompted me to call out to God. And when God answered, it gave me the courage to go on. God is there. He does care. And He sees and loves you.
God Sees You
The song asked the question, and God answered it for me… both through Scripture and through nature. God spoke to Moses through a burning bush. He spoke to Elijah in the storm and the whisper. He spoke to Job through the vastness of creation.
The ancient Celtic Christians called nature “The Big Book,” as it is a continual testimony that tells us of the Creator of it all.
Psalm 19 says:
The heavens proclaim the glory of God. The skies display his craftsmanship (Psalm 19:1).
Jesus said:
“What is the price of two sparrows—one copper coin? But not a single sparrow can fall to the ground without your Father knowing it” (Matthew 10:29).
And Psalm 139 says:
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
(Psalm 139:2-6)I’m praying for you right now as I write these words that God will speak to you, too. That He will reveal Himself to you in a way that is personal, intimate, and helps you know that He is there, that He cares, and that He sees you and all you’re going through.
If you’d like to listen to my final version, here are some links to the song. You can also find it on most streaming services by simply searching for “eric elder waving through a window.”
Song links:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XqovCD0dugo
https://open.spotify.com/track/28QiPkCWubQydGCLcGTtDj?si=5918a4d723ea4676
https://amazon.com/music/player/albums/B0H6Q7RZJZ
https://music.apple.com/us/album/waving-through-a-window-from-dear-evan-hansen/6784600157
https://pandora.app.link/o2PusfaKj4bAnd here’s the link to the podcast where Bo and I talk more about what happened.
Podcast link:
Remember, God sees you. And THAT makes all the difference.
Love,
Eric Elder writes for page, stage & screen to glorify God’s name so Christ may be seen! Reply to write to Eric. Use this link to subscribe or unsubscribe.