You’re reading JESUS: LESSONS IN LOVE, by Eric Elder, featuring thirty inspiring devotionals based on the greatest “lover” of all time, Jesus Christ. Also available in paperback and eBook formats in our bookstore for a donation of any size!

Scripture Reading: Matthew 20

Want to become a great lover?  Not just the romantic kind, but a great lover of people in general?  Jesus tells us how in Matthew chapter 20.

“…whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant…”  (Matthew 20:26b). 

If we want to become great, we must serve others.

This is a principle Jesus taught often.  It’s a principle that seems to defy reason, yet we recognize its truth when we see it in action.

Mother Teresa became great, winning the Nobel Peace Prize in 1979.  Yet she never sought the prize.  She sought to serve others.  As she saw the suffering and poverty outside the school where she taught in Calcutta, India, she sought and received permission to leave the convent school and devote herself to working among the poorest of the poor.  The more she served, the more awards and distinctions she was offered, many of which she politely declined, as that was not her purpose in serving.

Jesus explained this principle to his disciples after the mother of James and John came to Jesus.  She asked that Jesus would let her sons have the highest positions of honor, to sit at Jesus’ right and left when He came into His kingdom.  Jesus told them they didn’t know what they were asking for, and that those places belonged only to those for whom they had been prepared by His Father.

Jesus explains more about this principle as the passage continues:

“When the ten heard about this, they were indignant with the two brothers.  Jesus called them together and said, ‘You know that the rulers of the Gentiles lord it over them, and their high officials exercise authority over them.  Not so with you.  Instead, whoever wants to become great among you must be your servant, and whoever wants to be first must be your slave― just as the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many’ ” (Matthew 20:24-28). 

If you want to become a great lover, serve others.  Although I mentioned this principle was not just about becoming a great romantic lover, the same truth applies to romance.

I’ve written a book called, What God Says About Sex.  In it, I describe one of my own epiphanies regarding how God might want to use me to bless my wife, Lana.  There are times when I’ll look at her and ask myself, “If God were here right now, what would He do to bless her?  How would He want me to use my hands, my words, my eyes, my ears, and my heart to bless her in a special way?”

Sometimes I’ll sense that God wants me to caress her forehead, stroke her hair, or give her gentle kisses on her lips and cheeks.  While it’s nearly impossible for me not to take pleasure in this, too, my honest motivation at times like these is not to satisfy my own desires, but to let God work through me to satisfy hers.

Becoming a great lover of people, whether it involves romantic love or not, requires that we truly serve them.  Bruce Wilkinson, in his book, A Life God Rewards, writes, “True good works are always focused on sincerely trying to improve the well-being of another.”

What can you do today that would truly improve the well-being of someone you love?  Is there a word you can offer, a card you can send, an email you can write?  Is there something practical you can do, a trip you could make for them, a hand you could offer?

Even though you may not be seeking a reward for your good deeds, the truth is you will be rewarded for loving others.  Jesus said, “I tell you the truth, anyone who gives you a cup of water in My name…will certainly not lose his reward” (Mark 9:41). 

God wants us to become great lovers.  He has shown us how.  Now it’s up to us to follow through.

Prayer: Father, help me today to become the great lover You want me to be by serving others.  In Jesus’ name, Amen.