You’re reading JESUS: LESSONS IN LOVE, by Eric Elder, featuring thirty inspiring devotionals based on the greatest “lover” of all time, Jesus Christ. Also available in paperback and eBook formats in our bookstore for a donation of any size!

Scripture Reading: Matthew 18

One of the best ways we can express love to someone is to forgive them.

I can think of no greater expression Jesus made of His love for me than to forgive me of my sins.  And it’s because of His forgiveness of me that I’m able to forgive others.

Listen to how Jesus describes this connection between His forgiveness of us, and our forgiveness of others, as recorded in Matthew 18:23-35:

“Therefore, the kingdom of heaven is like a king who wanted to settle accounts with his servants. As he began the settlement, a man who owed him ten thousand talents [that is, millions of dollars] was brought to him. Since he was not able to pay, the master ordered that he and his wife and his children and all that he had be sold to repay the debt. 

“The servant fell on his knees before him. ‘Be patient with me,’ he begged, ‘and I will pay back everything.’ The servant’s master took pity on him, canceled the debt and let him go. “But when that servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him a hundred denarii [that is, a few dollars]. He grabbed him and began to choke him. ‘Pay back what you owe me!’ he demanded. 

“His fellow servant fell to his knees and begged him, ‘Be patient with me, and I will pay you back.’ 

“But he refused. Instead, he went off and had the man thrown into prison until he could pay the debt. When the other servants saw what had happened, they were greatly distressed and went and told their master everything that had happened. 

“Then the master called the servant in. ‘You wicked servant,’ he said, ‘I canceled all that debt of yours because you begged me to. Shouldn’t you have had mercy on your fellow servant just as I had on you?’ In anger his master turned him over to the jailers to be tortured, until he should pay back all he owed. 

“This is how my heavenly Father will treat each of you unless you forgive your brother from your heart.” 

Jesus calls us to forgive others.  This doesn’t mean that we excuse them, agree with them, or ignore them.  It means we forgive them.  It means that we acknowledge that what they’ve done has hurt us, whether intentional or not, whether justified or not.  It hurt.  Once we acknowledge that we’ve been hurt, then we can forgive.

When I’m working through forgiving someone on my own, I’ll sometimes write out the specific offenses I feel a person has done to me, line by line:

“He made a decision that cost me x amount of dollars” 

“He made me feel demeaned and humiliated by the way he spoke to me” 

“He spoke negatively about me to others, possibly turning them against me, too.” 

Then I’ll go through each offense, line by line, and I’ll speak words of forgiveness, out loud, just for myself and God to hear.  (I’ll decide later whether or not it would be helpful to speak these words to someone else…only after I’ve truly forgiven them from my heart.)  I’ll say:

“I forgive him for making a decision that cost me x amount of dollars” 

“I forgive him for making me feel demeaned and humiliated by the way he spoke to me” 

“I forgive him for speaking negatively about me to others, possibly turning them against me, too.” 

It’s never easy, and I don’t rush through it, because I want to make sure that my heart is right.  But when I’m done, I know that I’ve at least begun to do what’s right.  Being specific helps me deal with each issue, one by one, and when I’ve finished going through the list, I’ll throw it away.  As Paul says in 1 Corinthians 13:4-5, “Love…keeps no record of wrongs.”

Whatever method you choose, choose to forgive.  According to Matthew 18:32-35, you’ll find that when you “forgive your brother from your heart,” you’ll release two people from potential torment:  the other person…and yourself.

Prayer: Father, help me to forgive others as You have forgiven me.  I pray this in Jesus’ name, Amen.