Note from Eric: Dara has been a Christian for some time, but she couldn’t believe it when one day she felt God was saying that she could still be happy even after all she had been through. She was soon flooded with a joy she had never felt before.
YOU MEAN…I CAN STILL BE HAPPY?
Hi. My name is Dara, and I live in Georgia. I felt I needed to share this testimony. I’ve been saved for a while now, but for a long time I’ve had trouble trusting God totally. I knew God loved me and that’s why He saved my soul, but I wanted to do everything on my own. I suppose it’s a mix of pride and fear – I was proud of my own perceived strength and believed I could make it on my own, but at the same time I was afraid to trust God. What if He asks me to do something I don’t want to do? What if I need something and He doesn’t come through?
Then, on a day that I thought was just like any other day, I woke up and started getting ready for work. The last six months, it seemed as though the devil had been attacking me from every side. First my grandfather died of cancer, then my uncle died of a heart attack, my mom got divorced from my stepfather, my grandmother was diagnosed with cancer, and my sister moved to Japan. I had been down for a long time, and I was so very lonely. I felt like no one in the world cared about my pain, and I was so alone. In my mind I cried out to God in despair, “God, why am I so alone?” I didn’t really expect an answer.
I was completely stunned when the next moment God spoke to me, saying simply, “Trust me.” I’m not saying I heard voices, but it was so clear in my mind, there was no doubt who it was. I wasn’t sure what to do, but I just prayed, “Okay, God. Just help me.” Later, while I was driving to work, I turned the radio on. On what I thought was a whim I turned it to a popular Christian station in my area. I don’t know the name of the song, but the first words I heard were, “Life is precious, life is sweet…” I laughed to myself, feeling the irony of the words. Does that guy live on the same planet I live on? Doesn’t he know life is full of loneliness and pain? Then, God spoke to me again. This time His words struck home with such relevance that I could not ignore them – He said, “I didn’t save you so that you would be miserable.” I thought, You mean that after everything I’ve been through I can still be happy? Then I realized that if God loved me, as I believed He did, of course He wanted me to be happy.
The next Sunday at church, though, was what really changed my attitude. At the end of the service that pastor gave an altar call, and I felt this tremendous conviction burning in my chest. I felt the tears welling in my eyes before I even reached the altar. All I wanted was to lean on someone else for a little while, so I stood at the altar and I cried and I prayed, “God just touch me. God I need you.” Then one of the elders of our church came up to me and said that shortly after waking one morning the past week, during his prayer time, God had made him think of me, and he had prayed for me. He said, “God hasn’t forgotten you. He knows you miss that grandpa.” After he said that God had caused him to pray for me, something inside of me seemed to crumble, and this joy and peace came over me. I’ve never felt joy like that before.
In the moment of my despair, when I thought I was all alone in the world, God caused someone across town to pray for me. I will never forget the moment when I realized that God cared about my feelings. Emotionally I’ve been on my own my whole life, but He promised me that day that I would never be alone as long as I trusted in Him. Psalms 9:10 says, “Those who know your name will trust in you, for you, LORD, have never forsaken those who seek you.” I guess the bottom line is, God cares about the entire you – not just your soul, but also your body, your mind, and your heart. He doesn’t want you to suffer unnecessarily. Trusting in God is no guarantee that you will never experience pain, but you will never be alone. Even when you fall, and you and I both will, as long as you keep getting back up, you cannot fail. Since I’ve started trusting God my walk has grown so much stronger, and continues to grow. Mankind may let you down, but God never will.