Note from Eric: Liesl was hospitalized under a court order, diagnosed severely mentally ill, and told she would be institutionalized for life. During an escape from the hospital, God stepped in… There is hope, even for those who think they are beyond hope.
GOD CAN DO ANYTHING, ABSOLUTELY ANYTHING
by Liesl Alexander
“I was brought up in a haunted house, cursed as a baby, handed over to Satan, my mother was an alcoholic. In later years my world fell apart. I was hospitalised under a court order, diagnosed severely mentally ill, suicidal, cut arteries, took an overdose, violent, kept in a locked room, 36 pills a day, all treatments tried, no hope. After several years I escaped from the high security hospital, to kill myself (an atheist, a drug addict) and on the way God stepped in…”
I was an atheist, brought up in a “haunted house” filled with fear. I was reared with an alcoholic mother, a very distant angry father, and an alcoholic grandfather. This dysfunctional family was rounded out with a blind grandmother and a neurotic great aunt, a twin sister and other siblings at least 12 years our senior.
After leaving home for school, I was told my boyfriend (age 13) had committed suicide. This was when I began to dwell on death…what did it mean? what is it?
The rest of my schooling seemed to be a waste of time…because I could not think of work, only of death. Because of surgery, I had to leave school early. For one year I went home to live with a drunken mother I hated, with a fear-filled household and, in the end…decided to go into nursing to find out more about death.
I pondered death, but received no answers.
It was at this time I got into the occult. Things went downhill from there. Inside I wanted to die. I was a black hole I could not get out of.
I took an overdose of drugs stolen from the hospital ward, cut arteries in my wrists and waved goodbye to the world. I awoke in pain and with stitches.
They placed me in a room about 6×4 and I stayed there for several years.
I was taking over 36 drugs a day, strapped in a straight jacket on occasion, no windows, no visitors, no furniture. Just a mattress on the floor. Not even wearing any clothes. Where was I? I did not know then, but I was in a padded cell. After 17 months they moved me for short periods, to have treatments, but they did not work.
I hated life, feared everything, felt alone. There was no God…
I was in a high security wing of a psychiatric hospital, an asylum, but on one occasion I managed to escape. When I was captured and returned, I was told, “Liesl, stop running away, you are here for life. The quicker you accept this the easier for us and the easier for you. This is now your home for life.”
I wanted to die. Another time I escaped and got into the black market drug scene. I became an addict. My plan was to die from all these drugs.
After several more escape attempts, some failed and some successful, I finally escaped to I could go and kill myself.
I went to leave because the “God” bit made me angry. A lady at the door said “Jesus loves you! He knows what a mess you are in, he really cares.”
But when I was returned to the hospital, this man’s words went over and over in my mind.
One day some Christian visitors came to see me in hospital.
Inside me there was inexpressible turmoil, but in the room I was in there was a new feeling – a feeling of peace. I couldn’t fit it together, I could not work out what these people were saying.
They were talking very calmly about Jesus, and about Jesus having the power to heal. I could not take all the words in, they were an invasion into my isolation.
They stood around me; one had their hand on my head, another on my shoulder, and then one just spoke a simple sentence. “Lord Jesus, please heal this girl’s mind.” They were talking to God.
It was all very new and strange. I wondered what they would say next. I heard a click in my head and they heard it too. Something in me was being moved towards an encounter with light. I was face to face with light. I was being held within it. I knew it to be creative and positive, loving and so peaceful – totally the opposite of the darkness I’d just left. I was completely enveloped by it, unaware of anything else. I was aware only of the presence of Jesus.
They stopped praying. I was stunned. I saw so clearly that I’d been ill, that for years I’d existed in a hell of mental illness. Now I was
cured, suddenly, miraculously, in a space of a few moments. I couldn’t put words to what had actually taken place, but I knew, I understood, and above all, there was hope now. I realized how far my life had been from normal.
For the next few days I moved around in a peaceful haze, stunned, trying to adjust to my new awareness of life, my freedom from mental confusion and torment.
I wasn’t particularly joyful. I still had too many problems for that, perhaps, but I had hope. Something was still not right though.
One night at 3 a.m., I suddenly realized that even though I had met God, that He had healed me, that God was still on the outside. I asked Jesus into my life. I wanted Him on the inside. I talked simply to Jesus, telling Him that I believed in Him, and wanted to follow Him, so please would He come into my life and put right whatever was wrong.
I told Him I needed to know that He was with me and was going to guide me. Then I became aware of His presence. The knowledge that He was willing to know me and be with me – even though I was such a wreck, such a mess – overwhelmed me. I knew that I would not be in hospital for life, as the consultant has said. I knew the sick would be made whole. I knew that Jesus cared, that He was giving my life a new direction. I wasn’t alone any more. The pressure had lifted, I was now Free To Live.
God healed and delivered me, enabling me to be free to live. I was tormented, suicidal, violent, lonely. He gave me peace of mind, changed my misery to joy. He restored me to total health, and now I am married with two children. Jesus is now using me to help others with both mental and physical problems. He can help you, He wants to help you, He wants to give you assurance of eternal life, heal you, deliver you, give you a fresh start. You can trust Him.